[Flammable Icing and Barbie Dolls]

By Pyromaniac C




Scene opens to Magneto’s new headquarters…located in the basement of the local YMCA.


Pietro had called a meeting using the Acolytes signal in the sky. John is rocking back and forth in the corner, his hands are wrapped around something small that he is staring at with great amusement. Remy is lying on the floor and petting his newest issue of Maxim. Sabertooth is playing with his Barbie’s Summer Home. Pietro looks at them and groans. He glanced at his watch. “Where is Peter?”


“I like fire” John sang.


Remy had opened his magazine and was inhaling the perfumy smell.


“I really like fire!”


“Wow, this issue is filled with great tips! Mmm, 101 ways to please your man. Yes thank-you, daddy wants to know the secret to wearing thongs.”


Pietro continued to pace around the room. “Shut up guys!”


“Guess what? I like fire” John sang.


“EEK! Skipper lost her head!” Sabertooth began to cry hysterically. Pietro sighed and popped the doll head back on. Sabertooth giggled and hugged his dolly. “Nurse Pietro saved you!”


“I like fire!”


“Wow, a whole article dedicated to ‘Sleepover Fun!’” Remy drooled. “And the fold-out is a pillow fight! God bless America!”


“I like fire!”


“Really guys, SHUT UP!” Pietro began to bang his head against the wall.


“Hey guys – guess what?”


Pietro screamed and threw a chair at a wall. “Agh, John is you say ‘fire’ one more time I will break off your arm and shove it so far up your ass that you will be shaking hands with your spleen!” He squats and sits in front of John and smiles sweetly. “Now, what were you going to say?”


John shoved his favorite lighter behind his back….“Um, it wasn’t the F-word, if that is what you were thinking. I um, pet a puppy today on the way to the meeting…it’s name was Spot.”


“I like puppies!” exclaimed Sabertooth, as he combed his Malibu Barbie’s hair. “Especially with BBQ sauce, mmm.”


Everyone stares.


“Anyway” Remy said quickly. “Why did ya wanna see us Pietro?”


“Well” Pietro said with a girlish giggle. “I wanted to wait for Peter before I said anything, but….” He twirled around and threw his arms around himself. “My daddy’s birthday is coming, and I need your help to throw a party. Wanda’s being a meanie and wouldn’t let me throw one at our place!”


“Ya gotta be kiddin” Remy said with a chuckle. “What makes ya think that we wanna give a party to th-“


“Did someone say party?!” Peter cried running into the room. “With balloons and noise makers?”


“Yeah and a piñata and a big cake with lots of candles!”


“Fire?” John said tearing his eyes away from Sabertooth’s Barbie doll. “I’ll help!”


“Can Barbie come?” Sabertooth asked


“Yeah sure….but she has to bring a present”


“I’m in” Sabertooth said happily


“What about you Remy, you going to help too?” Pietro said giving him the evil eye.


“Is there going to be a girl in the cake?” Remy asked sweetly.


John quickly looked up at Remy “I’ll go in the cake if you want Remy-luv” he said with a hopeful expression on his face.


Remy shuddered and quietly said no as he slowly backed away to the other side of the room.


“Well then, I think we got ourselves a party to take care of” Pietro said with a grin. “Daddy’s birthday is in two week, we must hurry! Peter you get the supplies, John get the cake, and Remy we need a girl.


“Can do!” Remy said running out the door to lord knows where.


“What can I do?” Sabertooth asked crying softly at the fact that he wasn’t included in the plan.


“Umm you can keep daddy away from here until the big day” Pietro said.




“Alright troops fall out” Pietro paused and stared at the pile up of bodies at the door. “Not literally.”



[Chapter Two]